Dear E. Jean: I met a great guy online. We’ve been e-mailing and talking on the phone for a year. I like him a lot (he’s a genuinely nice guy with a great job that pays well). When we finally met recently, I thought he was cute, and we had a good time. But when we went outside in the cold, his nose turned a purplish-red color! This was a huge turnoff for me. Am I being shallow? Or am I so used to jerks that I can’t deal with being treated kindly? When I think of dating him again, all I can picture is that nose. —Ugh! or Ah!

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Miss Snoot: Stop “picturing” the thing and give him another chance. Or, better: Send him and his fine, large, virile rudder to me. I love a lad with a genial proboscis, be it red as a geranium or fuchsia as Bill Clinton’s. Indeed, I shall fall in love with your chap myself if I write another syllable.

This letter is from the Ask E. Jean Archive, 1993-2017. Send questions to E. Jean at

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